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Welcome + Lesson 1

 

 

 
 
 
 

Over the next 5 lessons we will be practicing some skills that research shows can help with decreasing and managing anxiety.

  • Do you get overwhelmed by your thoughts?
  • Does it feel impossible to quiet your mind?
  • Do you find it hard not to ‘go after’ yourself?
  • Do people tell you to ‘just calm down’ or ‘relax’?
  • Do you wish there was a way to feel safer and calmer internally?

Neuroscience research indicates that before we can shift anxiety, we first need to be able to identify our thoughts, emotions and body sensations. In the words of Dan Siegel, a psychiatrist and neuroscientist ‘you gotta name it to tame it’.

In terms of anxiety, feelings are particularly important. One perspective on anxiety is that anxiety is what we experience when we don’t know how we feel or feel like we don’t have the right to feel how we are feeling. So while we are going to identify thoughts feelings and body sensations, feelings are particularly important.

Once you begin to identify these parts of your inner landscape, and learn what to do with them, your internal space becomes less scary and starts to feel safer. As it gets easier to recognize and take care of those parts, it also becomes easier to choose how you respond instead of reacting.
This allows for:

  • More sense of inner calm
  • Improved relationships with those around you
  • Increased confidence and ease in navigating the ‘bumps in the road’
  • More self-compassion instead of self-judgement

Overview of the E-course

Each of the 5 lessons in this course will provide a key skill associated with learning to manage anxiety. Each lesson will explain the skill and provide examples and some experiments you can try between lessons to give you an opportunity to practice.  The lessons will arrive in your inbox daily for 5 days.

Many of these skills are drawn from work of Ann Weiser Cornell, based on the original research and teachings of Gene Gendlin. 

Reading about these skills is a great starting point, but if you want to get comfortable using these skills to help with anxiety its essential to start experimenting with and applying the skills. If you start experimenting and it is feeling too hard, that doesn’t mean you can’t do it. but it may be a good indicator that it would be helpful to get additional support as you build that comfort. Sometimes we can pick up a guitar and play, but sometimes it makes more sense to work with a music teacher.

I’ll be with you each step of the way, so if you aren’t sure about something or you have any thoughts or feedback, I’m just an email away: [email protected]
 

If you haven't already download the companion workbook above.
 
Let's jump in and get started!

 

Lesson 1: Getting Clearer: Identifying Thoughts, Emotions and Body Sensations.

Let’s imagine for a moment that you are feeling overwhelmed and anxious. You’ve got a long list of tasks and deadlines. You’ve had no time for friends and family, let alone for yourself.  The thought ‘this is too much, I can’t do it’ keeps running through your head, it just won’t stop.

Ever had an experience like that? It is easy in such moments to feel like you are drowning. And if you feel like you are drowning it makes sense that the nervous system goes into fight/flight/freeze and anxiety increases.

In order to begin to get ourselves to more solid ground, we first need to take a step back and get more clarity on the different pieces around that experience of overwhelm and anxiety.

In order to do this, I use this formula:
What are 3 thoughts, 2 emotions* and 1 body sensation* associated with that overwhelm and anxiety?
*for a list of emotions and body sensations see Appendix A & B of the workbook.

Thoughts:
  1. I’m going to miss the deadline
  2. My friend/partner is resentful I’m not around
  3. I always do this to myself, when will I ever learn
Emotions:
  1. I’m feeling scared
  2. I’m feeling helpless
Body Sensation:
  1. My stomach is tight
Wow, so there are quite a number of different pieces in that statement ‘I am overwhelmed and anxious’. 

And in reality there are usually far more than 3 thoughts and 2 emotions and 1 body sensation. An important note when labelling thoughts and feelings, we often mix them up!

For example:
  • ‘I feel like she doesn’t like me’. There is actually no emotion expressed in that sentence.
  • The sentence more accurately should be ‘I think she doesn’t like me’.
To get to the associated feeling we would need take it one step further. ‘When I think she doesn’t like me, I feel sad’.

When we say the word ‘feel’ and skip right to a thought, we miss identifying the emotion that is related to the thought. Given how important emotions are in relation to anxiety management, it’s important to work on being accurate.

So remember at the beginning I quoted Dan Seigel with ‘you gotta name it to tame it’. We also need to make sure we are accurately identifying thoughts and feelings.

So back to the exercise, why don’t you give it a try?

Think of a current or recent situation that got you feeling anxious.

For example:
  • I get super anxious when I have to go to a social or networking event
  • I’m so stressed, I can’t stop thinking about the conversation I had with my friend yesterday
  • I can’t stop thinking about this new person I met and I keep wondering if they like me or not?
Experiment 1:1 - Page 1 of Workbook

1. Write down your situation:
2. Identify: 3 Thoughts, 2 Feelings, 1 Body Sensation 

Remember, the goal is not to solve the situation or change how you think or feel about it, but simply to identify these parts.
 
See you in Lesson 2!
 

 

You Gotta Name it to Tame it. >Welcome + Lesson 1
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